The Monabandi Chronicles : Thanks Mr. Burglar and Friends

2012

Dear Mr. Burglar and friends,

Thank you for breaking into our house and making off with our stuff. Our lives have been pretty sedate lately, and your trespassing is just what we need to spruce things up and for that long delayed and overdue excitement.

Just to let you know that we have just bought our daughter her new school bag yesterday. Hope you are happy with her old school bag, and wish that it will bring you all the prosperity that your Creator can bestow on you. I’m sure the bag held up pretty nicely in holding some of the loot you got from us. You’re so brilliant with your logistical prowess. Just brilliant! And they should write songs about your brilliance and bedazzling talents.

We thank you as well for taking our Apple laptops. You know, we had felt earlier that those new laptops needed newer owners. And you’re it! I mean … I’m so excited for you! Now we have an excuse to just simply buy new ones.

Oh, how do you like them watches? We bought them in pairs – matching ones for my wife and me. Never too late to start a watch collection – that’s what I always say … especially with watches that have sentimental value (bought them when we got engaged and they’re limited edition too). And oh, that goes for my wife’s gold jewellery and accessories as well (can you spell ‘Engagement Gifts’?) But hey, the wife prefers white gold… so it’s your lucky day afterall! I mean who would we rather provide those things to? Ha ha!

And those cosmetic products? Yup they’re great, aren’t they? They’re my wife’s favourite. Glad they’re making you happy now and perhaps brightening even further that irresistible smile of yours. The sun screen should prove useful as well if you decide to reschedule your after dark activities to daytime. Remember … a sun screen with SPF 30 will protect you from around 96.7% of UVB rays, whereas an SPF of 50 means protection from about 98% of UVB rays. Anything beyond SPF 50 makes very little difference in terms of risk of sun damage, and no sunscreens offer 100% protection.

Anyway, we have filed a police report. They came in to take possible fingerprints. But I’m sure you were intelligent enough to have worn gloves. So they might not be able to get to you too quickly. Ahhh, such an air of mystery! This only contribute to your allure – a great mix with a hint of the exotic and a whiff of the sophisticated.

And the way you left the house – simply amazing! I always like jigsaw puzzles. You have given us hours of fun putting things back together again. To say that the smile was frozen solid on our faces would be an understatement. We were so happy in doing the cleaning up!

But alas, if only you would have come in by next week, we would have been able to get your photos as mementos. The security company took their sweet time in installing a security system for our house. Such a sweet sweet company equivalent only to your sweet sweet smile.

Mr Burglar, anyway I am rambling. But from the bottom of our heart, here’s wishing you the best in your future undertakings and aspirations. As they say in show business … but which you can apply as well to the burglary business –

Good Luck, Break a Leg …. or Neck or Two!!

Yours affectionately,

The Monabandis.