The Monabandi Chronicles : Monkey Trouble
Yes, we had monkey trouble – with a troop of monkeys going into our property – more than 10 primates previously doing a Spiderman up the trees and onto our roof where I could have sworn at one point that they were doing some Irish stepdancing in the middle of the night.
In the evenings, they also took a sip and a dip in the pond – looking quite a sight transforming our backyard into a surreal mini safarifest, with my family mesmerised into bewildered bystanders.
Lately, they had been into fashion as well – taking special interest in my Bossini shirt and mom’s Uniqlo trousers – off the clothesline and into a repertoire of their self-serving frenzied fashion show at one corner of the garden.
I was in the process of getting some proximity sensors that would blare out a siren at them in the hopes of scaring them away. In the meanwhile though – we’re just putting on a show of force – me mostly by yelling out m̶e̶a̶n̶i̶n̶g̶f̶u̶l̶ ̶p̶r̶o̶f̶a̶n̶i̶t̶i̶e̶s̶ errr strongly worded interjections at these be-tailed smart alecks.
Already there was some collateral damage. Our house was basically shot on by an unknown neighbour down the hill, clearly enjoying his/her safari time. I have the steel pellet that went through the trees where our hairy invaders were, and onto our dining hall window where it created a hole. Launched from a slingshot possibly, or something ballistic more likely – it was lucky no one else was in the vicinity when the incident happen.
We’re thankful to our close neighbour Uncle Vic on the left of our property. He’d been the good neighbour as always- helping us cut down the trees bordering our houses. So thankfully those Irish step-dancing had stopped. We wished we had dogs like Uncle Vic though so the monkeys will think twice before treating our garden and pond like their personal spa.
Yesterday was a particularly good day for our neighbourly collaboration in clearing out the pesky bipeds. Clanging of metal implements were somewhat involved … at least from Uncle Vic’s side as our neighbour banged the utensils to scare the pesky primates away. This then had the effect of sending the fugitives traipsing into our garden where the wife/lady of the watch Mona had been doing some cooking/sweeping in our kitchen. Noticing the furry creatures – she had opened the door of the kitchen and then extended out her weapon of choice – what else but the kitchen broom. Then in the face of one stupefied urchin , she then pointed the broom tip into his direction like a shotgun and let loose a thundery but high pitched “BOOOOM!”
“Eeeek!” cried the furry victim – scampering away in fright at the verbal shot (and probably needing some monkey counselling later if they ever had one)
“Haa!” Said Mona, satisfied.
Laughter from beyond our fence got her attention though. She turned her attention to her left …. just in time to see Uncle Vic’s rather bemused expression on his face.
“That was some gun!” Uncle Vic was probably thinking.
Mona waved and made a hasty retreat back into the kitchen where her stew was simmering on the stove.
At least we’re not having monkeys for dinner….
