The Monabandi Chronicles : Mad about the Language and How My Kids Improved their Vocabulary and their Worldview
I found a sign recently that I had saved when we moved from our old house:
My daughter Trisha being the practical and systematic girl that she was had a few issues when one of us discarded something she had printed. She made the above sign and pasted it on the wall above the printer. Alas, Her kid brother Daniel saw it and made one key modification : replacing “documents” with “bodies”.
These 2 had been at it since they were very small. I remember their friendly banter in the car on the way back from school : at that time Trisha was around 6 and Daniel was around 4.
Trisha : Daddy, I remember when I was a little girl, I used to watch that cartoon…
Daniel : Trisha, what do you mean when you were a little girl? You’re still little!
Somehow the little boy had also been upset earlier with his sister, for he added,
“Trisha. You’re a girl. You’re also bossy. You’re a bossy girl”
Wordplay had been one of our enjoyable moments as I drove the children to and from school. I think I may have created monsters … adorable ones by the way in the process.
The Alphabet Game had been one such activity. The rules were simple : select a letter from the alphabet and say out loud a word that starts with it. The only caveat was that the word had to be a “big” or “long” word, and you must also know the meaning of the word. So “A is for Apple” would be out, and instead we would be going for words such as “durable” and so forth.
On that very first time we played the Alphabet Game – my 3 kids were in the car : Trisha then 8, Daniel had been 6 and Akmal was 4.
I started it off by setting the example.
“O.K guys, A is for abomination. This means something that you don’t like or you find disgusting. You can also use it to describe a ghost. For example ‘I saw a ghost last night. Its an abomination I will not forget!’
Daniel had a go at it next by saying “E is for Entrepreneurial – meaning being in business and managing it well.”
He turned to his brother Akmal who was busy into his butter bun.
“Ok, Mal – your turn”
My 4 year old looked up and answered, “G is for Giraffe”
Daniel, always the kid abiding by the rule shot back a “No! You can’t use that small word. Daddy says to use only big or long ones!”
And from the rear view mirror, I could see Akmal’s smile as only a 4 year old could.
“That’s true”, Akmal had said “But the Giraffe also has a long neck!”
Daniel had been speechless.
As I drove them home, I thought about their interplay of words and was reminded of another interaction with a boy from Scotland a few years earlier.
I was returning back to Brunei at the end of yet another semester at my U.K university. On the Royal Brunei flight that day, I met a woman with her 3 small children bound for New Zealand to join her husband. Whilst my trip from Loughborough University in the UK East Midlands to Heathrow Airport had been short and uneventful, the family’s journey had been more intricate. They had arrived at Heathrow airport the previous night from Scotland, sleeping on the airport chairs while waiting for the Royal Brunei flight to depart the next day. They would connect with another flight from Brunei to Australia, and then push forward to New Zealand from there. To state the obvious — it was a long tiring journey, but the mom looked cheerful and composed, and she had those 3 boys relatively well-behaved.
I asked her what her secret was. Her answer : each child had a small backpack. In each backpack , she would have the child select a favourite toy and some books to pass the time. I talked to the middle son — a five year old who was seated next to me as we began taking off from Heathrow,
“So, Jack’s your big brother?”, I said trying to distract the boy from our impending take off.
He looked at me, puzzled and then replied,
“He’s not that big!”
Indeed!
When we landed in Brunei 16+ hours later, I was tired from my journey but thankful that my wife and own children were waiting at the arrival hall. The Scottish family – tired as they were, soldiered on and entered the transit area where another Royal Brunei flight would depart for Australia the next day. I waved goodbye to them and made a mental note of their use of the backpacks — determined to replicate it on my own children.
I am happy to say that ever since then, my children’s backpacks had gone everywhere with them, and not just on planes. In addition to books and toys, the boys’ backpacks would also have their asthma medicines and puffers. My daughter’s bag would be the heaviest. She was a natural speed-reader and she would be lost in her world of books, given the slightest opportunity. Her bag would be filled with at least 5 books at any one trip.
“Trisha”, I had told her once “We’re at the stadium. You’re supposed to walk or run here. Stop reading those books for now!”
My girl seemed to like books better than the boys. When it came to reading, my daughter gravitated to books as I had been as a child. Throughout the years, her reading materials had grown quite diverse. She would read them everywhere — in the car, at the beach, at cafes and restaurants. The boys however needed to be cajoled to do even a small bit of reading. Mine preferred their toy cars, legos and nerfs to the written word.
I found comics to be a useful bridge for their reading gaps. The images were action oriented with the dialogue and words being secondary in describing the scenery. I also made the children collaborate in drawing pictures : I would bring sheets of paper and pens (pre-ipad days) with me to restaurants so that we could draw our stories while waiting for our food to be ready. To get the boys more word-oriented however, I designed our Alphabet Game and it became an important tool in encouraging the boys to read. Here was how the game worked: I would tell the kids to read and find the meaning of some “big words” to be ready beforehand. Our Alphabetical Games would always happen in the car during long trips or trips to and from their school.
Daniel’s asthma and allergies however developed his knowledge of words and terms faster than other kids his age, I think. He had to be careful with the types of food he took, otherwise these would initiate his allergies and asthma. I have lost count on the number of times we had to rush him to Emergency as a result of his condition.
Once, whilst at the pharmacy with him then aged 5, I listened in on this conversation of his with the pharmacist,
“Does this toothpaste contain artificial colouring and ingredients?”, Daniel had asked.
The pharmacist found his question endearing, and did her best to explain it to him,
“We have some toothpaste that is suitable for people with allergies. Are you allergic to colouring? I think this one is OK for you.”
Like my kids, I grew up on TV’s Sesame Street. It was literally the only programme that made learning English enjoyable on Brunei’s TV during my time. To this day, I still have a sentimental connection to Bert and Ernie, and Oscar the grouch, and Big Bird.
In addition to Sesame Street however, my kids had access to all the newer educational programming such as “Bear in the Big Blue House” and “Little Einstein” etc. These were all invaluable in getting my tykes up to speed in subject matters that we adults do not even know of sometimes.
I learned not to underestimate my children’s vocabulary and got a first hand knowledge of this when I brought Daniel — then at age 5 to an astronomy exhibition at the local expo centre.
“What are those rocks, Daddy?”, he had asked.
We were looking at a glass box containing an odd assortment of grey and black looking rocks.
“These are from space, Daniel.” I had said “They get burned when they enter our atmosphere. These rocks then made holes in the ground called craters where they land.”
“Oh…” said Daniel “You mean they are meteors?”
“Uhuh…”, I said blushing. Other parents were nearby, and our conversation sounded very clear in the tight space of the exhibit.
I took extra efforts to get my kids to love the written word, particularly English. The conversational / national language of Brunei is Malay. English comes as a close second. In our household – the preference had always been with English
From time to time – local and abroad, I would be spending time at various book-stores poring over children’s books. My usual haunts had been Borders before they closed down. Nowadays it is usually Kinokuniya. Once in the hands of the child, I would ask them a little later the important questions,
“Who’s the protagonist? Who’s the antagonist?”
A bit too much, do you think? In my opinion, it was a convenient way to get them to be on their toes and to ensure that they get the dynamics of their stories right.
Some of the notable titles over the years that I had sought out for the children were:
- The Graveyard Book –
By Neil Gaman – a story of the boy Nobody “Bod” Owens who is adopted and reared by the supernatural occupants of a graveyard after his family is brutally murdered.
2. Lion Boy
By Zizou Corder – Charlie Ashanti aka LION BOY speaks cat, and goes on a quest to find his kidnapped parents. Set from a futuristic London, Charlie boards a circus ship bound for Paris. There he makes friend with a homesick circus lion who joins him on his journey – with both being chased by the same group who have kidnapped Charlie’s parents.
3. How to Catch a Princess
By Max Brallier.
An Adventure Time book where the Ice King teaches his tricks to land the princess of your dreams. Featuring games, activities, and journal pages.
4. The Tiger Who Came To Tea
By Judith Kerr – a classic story of Sophie and her striped teatime guest. Akmal’s one time favourite.
5. Artemis Fowl and The Arctic Incident
By Eoin Colfer.
Elf Holly Short thinks the criminal mastermind boy Artemis Fowl is aiding the Goblin Gang’s uprising. But Artemis is innocent and just needs to deal first with the Russian mafia in the Arctic Circle before clearing his name.
6. The Codebook
By Simon Singh.
A fascinating account of code-breaking in action, with details of the betrayal of Mary Queen of Scots, unmasking the Man in the Iron Mask, the defeat of the Nazis via the compromised of the enigma machine and the breaking of a modern cipher system including references to quantum cryptology.
O.K, a little backstory – Daniel took a liking into Mathematics scoring straight As in the subject. It began with me teaching him about negative numbers when he was in kindergarten. However, I felt that he needed to appreciate the fascinating practicality of maths and not just learn it rote and from an academic standpoint. So I lent him my book.
Sometimes however and in my fervour to get them good books, some age-inappropriate works would get through unintentionally. Call it due to the lack of due-diligence and being pressed for time especially when I am overseas and balancing between work and visits to the bookstore.
“I am a child!”, said Trisha then aged 11.
She had read a book that I had gotten her by Neil Gaiman whom I had inaccurately assumed was an exclusive author of children books.
She had opened a page and pointed out a very apt description of a couple having intimate ….errr activities.
“You really should review the books more carefully, Daddy!” Chided my daughter.
Yes, I should have.
Being criticised by anyone is never a pleasant thing. Being criticised by a child : golden …. and it brings your ego down several notches.
It was like that time when I was driving too fast, and then had to do an emergency braking to avoid an incoming car. Screeching to a halt, I looked at my 5 year old Daniel in the rear view mirror. Secure in his baby chair, he was nevertheless rattled by my driving and our sudden stop.
“Sorry, buddy!”, I had told him. “My mistake. I should not have driven that fast.”
He looked at me judgementally, frowned and then delivered a rather sharp edict,
“Daddy, you should really show me a good example. Not like this!”
I felt like sinking to the ground.
Yeeesh….
As the years go by, the kids have progressed to bigger challenges. We had presentation nights where everyone including my wife and I would present something via PowerPoint or Keynote.
The kids would stand next to the big screen, and advance the slides they had done on their own and tell their stories. We dealt with stage frights, timing issues and presentation best practices. I had their grandma as the guest of honour in our living room with the chairs and furniture settings arranged realistically. We even had question and answer sessions that really challenged the kids’ preparedness.
In one of these Presentation Nights, Akmal did his enthusiastic presentation on Minecraft and what needed to be done to survive:
Daniel selected Spring Cleaning as his presentation topic – with tips on how to do it right:
And my daughter Trisha – a natural at observing dynamics elected to do a review on technology – the pros and cons.
All in all, it had been a great exercise in getting their creative side going – putting together their research into slides, and providing information to us their rapt audience.
It has been quite some time since we played those Alphabet Games, and my kids have become capable communicators. Dinner time is a good get together and would resemble a circus sometimes with their wordplays and emerging worldviews. I insisted on a no sarcasm policy (Yes, they have gone into that too but have heeded my advice to be decent). We discuss a diverse range of subjects, and some playful teasings are also involved. I really have to be on my toes and at least 3 steps ahead of these kids…. particularly Akmal – who has become the resident computer whiz kid (he insists that my reference for the PC display adapter be re-termed as a GPU or a Graphics Processing Unit. Long Story….)
It is a communal approach : as they go through their teenage years and develop new hobbies or favourite pastimes – I participate. Their interests have now become my interest – a common ground.
Take anime for instance. The kids are into them – immersed into the culture and appreciative of the art form and media which include the associated films and music. Joining them for a visual onslaught of a monster hellbent on trying to get a bite out of the supposed hero, I dusted off the old questions and directed them to Trisha,
“Who’s the protagonist? Who’s the antagonist?”
The answer from my daughter had been somewhat poetic,
“Well Daddy, it’s a bit complicated…”
I sat back and was given a 5 minute summary of the hero-bad guy relations dynamics, at the end of which I decided that it was a viable platform for further participation and knowledge building. Over time, they saw me take interest in the genre’s related media, saw my infatuation with the music of the Studio Ghibli composer Joe Hisaishi (of Spirited Away fame) and saw me revisit the anime of my youth : Gundam – looking at it from a military science fiction standpoint and dispelling my earlier simplistic treatment of the good and the bad / the protagonist and antagonist perspective.
Complicated indeed!
But very rewarding as well and further enhances my connection and bond with the kids, and our evolving understanding based on our common interest.
It is also poetic in the sense that in my efforts to impart knowledge to my kids early on through our wordplay and language activities that we now have come full circle : my kids are opening up a world of knowledge for me.
Robert Fulghum the author once wrote not to worry “ … that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.”
I agree with him. My children may not listen all the time, but they have always been watching. And by the looks of it, I hope that I have been a good example to them…
In case you’re wondering, The Monabandi Chronicles is a collection of stories centered around our family, including myself (Subandi), my wife Monarita, and our children. Over the years, I have been gathering these stories, starting from when our kids were young. Within the pages, I have discovered a wealth of valuable insights and wisdom. I genuinely hope that you find enjoyment in reading them.
